The Cinderella complex which is a term created by Collette Dowling's that depicts when a “woman fears true independence and secretly expects a “knight in shining armor” to come along and take care of her.” (Hanes, 1981) Women with this complex struggle to live an independent life, feel forced to be a “good girl” and causes a great deal of anxiety.
A huge reason for the creation of this complex are books that taught that the princess needed to be saved by the prince to have a happy conclusion. That the women and girls in our story need a man to be safe and content. In modern day time, we see more female protagonist in our story that are powerful warrior. Nevertheless, I would say 90% of the time, she is still saved and dependent on a man no matter how powerful she is.
We brainwash our young girls with these stories to teach them that they are fragile and in constant need of protection by man. But we are also teaching them that femininity depends on how well they are “good girls” to man. Which they demonstrate by submitting to man, being kind to everyone and living a domestic lifestyle. These women that suffer from this complex have the tendency to stay in abusive relationship because of their fear of being alone and to stop their education to pursue a man.
Not only is this concept toxic to women but also to man. Little boys are taught that they need to be the “knight in shining armor” to protect their “damsel in distress.” These boys eventually become man that suffer from tremendous insecurity (toxic masculinity) about their incapacities of fulfilling their role as the hero, has the one to be depended on, that they have the tendency to develop anger issues, depression, and low self-esteem.
How to stop it
To avoid spreading this complex around, we must have stories with strong female leads that are not saved by a man out of nowhere and stories were the man is saved. We must have characters that are independent, resilient, and confident without the need for a significant other. There are so many women around us that thrive while being single and independent, we just need more representation of them in books and in other media. So let us draft stories for our future generation of young heroes that do not classify them as strong because of gender but because of their heart and personalities.